As always, I come to you today with a problem: a crisis of thought, the long-term utility of embracing one’s passion on the one hand and the gnawing need for financial independence on the other. We have discussed both extensively enough to allow for a nuanced understanding.

Luqman Hussain is a lawyer and poet. He is a graduate of Ahmadu Bello University and is currently a Partner at Hussaini Garba & Co. He performed at the inaugural session of the Kaduna Book & Arts Festival (KABAFEST) in 2017 and won the Abuja Literary Festival (ALitFest) Poetry Grand Slam in 2019. He lives in Minna.

Dear friend,
I’ve been meaning to write you for quite some time. I have never quite harmonized either structure or content of what it was I meant to say. But here I am, regardless, doing the inevitable.

Of
everything old and new, associate and friend, fleeting conversation and well-intended
retort, none has forced me to introspect and re-discover the truer reaches of
my deepest, most obscure inclinations as you and yours and I am, as a
consequence, indebted to you.  

As
always, I come to you today with a problem: a crisis of thought, the long-term
utility of embracing one’s passion on the one hand and the gnawing need for
financial independence on the other. We have discussed both extensively enough
to allow for a nuanced understanding. The only hitch been that the latter seems
to perpetually scream and claw, demanding to be respected in the progressive
trajectory of self-reliance.

You’d
appreciate why what I love must wait for what I need, why that luxury of choice
must be overridden by the impetus of necessity, why passions will only blossom
where there is a field for them to bloom. I agree that I may not be the
happiest at the workplace. That isn’t meant for me. But I will not stay there
forever. Of the three passions I hold dearest, the two that I might profit from
have been forced so far down the rabbit hole and eluded an unveiling for so
long that I might never recover them. The other, the more pressing, has come to
stay and I will nurture it till the day I die.

debby hudson via unsplash

I’m sure
you’re wondering what it is I’m in such a hurry for, why not wait all the while?
The reason is simple: things aren’t always as fluid as they seem. And I’ve
realized that no matter how long I wrestle these grotesque demons, they will resurface
for battle after battle, in a perpetual loop. So I best get on with it while I have
the fervour to. Who knows, I might very well grow to love my workspace nearly
as much as pulp or the dawning excitement of comprehension…

I do not
like working for the firm at home, for home, as you rightly predicted, too
languidly comes to office, and I’d rather keep home very far away. It’s
happened only on a few occasions but it constitutes only a fragment of the
complications on a whole. I reckon you can guess what some of the others are.

Knowing
me well, I need not say a lot more than this: I owe you a lot and thank you
very much for these last few years. I’ll try my bit to see if a job that pays
well enough to get me a few good clothes and allows me pay for yearly rent,
away from this place if I can afford it, is up for grabs (I suppose I can chase
passion number two and three no matter where I go, number one might have to
wait) and I’d love it if you and the fairy godmother could cast a spell or two
in this direction…

All the
same, I’d love to hear your reply, for even in death, you’ve been the only one
with a knack to persuade me.

With
love,
Me.

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